This is the most tired and stressed I have ever been. I need to learn to say no to my employer. I like/need/want money too much. I keep picking up shifts and staying late and not putting my foot down. This is the second night in a row where I will get less than four hours of sleep. That’s not good!
Tonight I saw a girl walking down the street eating frozen yogurt. Wouldn’t it be nice if I allowed myself time to do something like get frozen yogurt?
Fuck.
Seriously. I’m a big idiot. And I’ve dug myself too far into this hole to get myself out in the next few days. I feel terrible. I look sad and tired. I can count the number of times I’ve been to the gym this semester on one hand. My skin is being weird. I feel mean.
It’s amazing what caffeine can do to temporarily relieve exhaustion.
I’m in this show. We had a run through this evening and it was wretched. I haven’t been that embarrassed in a long time. I felt so helpless on stage. Which is the opposite of what I should feel while performing. Not to mention the sausage-casing/dress I have to wear.
In the meantime: sleep, get through the next four days, schedule myself a massage, and think of how much I have to look forward to this weekend.
/end rant
