There is a friend in my life that has, in the last month or so, become more than my friend. I’m silly-happy. It’s really nice and I just have this weird lovely warm feeling in my gut that hasn’t been there in a long time. It’s really nice.
This happens to me every year during our industry cycle. Someone pops up and asks me if I want to work in New York. Is there anything you can say to help me figure out where I stand? I don’t know what my priorities should be because I feel triumphant or fucked either way I think about it. For…
It’s funny how your attitude about certain things changes over time. In 1999 I cried and begged my mom to let me skip the one mile run. I think I walked the whole thing and it took me fifteen minutes. In middle school soccer I always volunteered to be goalie because it didn’t involve any running. Yesterday I ran (and I really did run save for two pee breaks) 26 miles. I’m really proud of myself. And I’m excited to train for another!
OKAY BACK TO NORMAL NETFLIX BINGING, CHOCOLATE CONSUMPTION, AND OVER-THINKING EVERYTHING
Im baking pumpkin bread instead of looking for jobs
Because sometimes the former takes precedence.
This week and the past week have been strange. I am really exhausted. I feel stiff and groggy. I think this is part of the whole “tapering” thing involved with marathon training (or so my google searches have told me). It’s a little disheartening given my race is on Saturday. I went for my second to last run earlier today and I felt pretty good. I’m trying not to think about it too much before I have to.
Dad is flying in tomorrow night. I am really glad he will be here to cheer me on. There is nothing quite so depressing as finishing a race and having no one to hug at the end. I’ve done it before; you find yourself scanning the crowd like an airport terminal and everyone’s eyes are lighting up but yours. I’m psyched he will be here!
I still have no idea what I’m doing/where I’m going/how I can make enough money to support myself so I’ve decided to throw my hat into every ring possible. Until I have some kind of job offer there is no decision to be made so, no use stressing out over nothing. It’s kind of fun to be sending my resume all over the place.
I don’t get to go home for Thanksgiving. This is a gigantic bummer because it’s my favorite holiday. Luckily, I already have a couple gracious Thanksgiving invitations from my extended Kentucky family. I will not go pumpkin-pie-less.
“Most people are doomed in childhood by accepting the axiom that work = pain. Those who escape this are nearly all lured onto the rocks by prestige or money. How many even discover something they love to work on? A few hundred thousand, perhaps, out of billions. It’s hard to find work you love; it must be, if so few do. So don’t underestimate this task. And don’t feel bad if you haven’t succeeded yet. In fact, if you admit to yourself that you’re discontented, you’re a step ahead of most people, who are still in denial. If you’re surrounded by colleagues who claim to enjoy work that you find contemptible, odds are they’re lying to themselves.”—How to Do What You Love. (via nedhepburn)
I’m honored to be featured in The Louisville Paper’s last issue with my article, "I like it here." In it, I reflect on my past 3 years in Louisville - this last one a bit hectic - but three important years just the same. In it, I interview some of my favorite movers and shakers in the…
Because of moving and not having wifi set up in a timely fashion I haven’t been on here in quite some time. I’m happy to report things are lovely. The new place is rad – I feel like a real human adult. Pickle is very happy about it, too. She has windowsills to occupy and air conditioning vents to lie on top of. Sadly, I am still unpacking because I have way too much crap. Maybe that should be my project for August – stop my hoarding problem before it starts.
I joined a marathon training group a couple weeks ago. I had been considering it for a while, though, proud me likes to be autonomous about these sorts of challenges…but the one in town seemed like a really good fit. Tonight I have a 2 mile time trial and I’m nervous about it. Did I mention it’s the middle of July in Kentucky? Yeah, running at 95% max effort in 95 degree heat is not fun for anyone, especially a child of New England. But that’s why this training group is good – I can’t NOT go. I mean, I could skip, but you feel doubly shitty for having let down yourself and your group.
I head to over to the motherland in two weeks. (Where is summer going!? Make it slow down!) I can’t believe how soon the trip is. I am extremely excited to be unplugged for a whole eleven days. No iPhone, no work emails, no twitter, no nothing. It’s going to be brilliant. I’m so fortunate to have siblings that I love spending time with. I think we’re going to have quite the adventure.
This last weekend was spent at a music festival here in town. It was drunk and hot and sweaty and sunny and altogether wonderful. It’s amazing to compare my festival experience from this year to last. I had so much fun last year by myself, wandering from stage to stage, people watching and taking it all in. But, I’ll tell you HWUT, like our friend Christopher McCandless wrote, “Happiness only real when shared.” Now, I’m not going to posit that as a finite statement - one can derive immense joy and empowerment from time with yourself. But, being enamored by one of the most powerful forces of human existence (music, duh) with people you love? Pretty fucking great.
If I’m being honest, work is a whole different kind of monster now. For a while I had a steady stream of work coming through that kept me busy most of everyday. I like my clients and my team so it wasn’t ever unbearable. But now things have slowed down again, and though I consistently ask to take on more, I have all of this free time again. I have to stick it out for a while longer, though. I do believe there is still room for me to grow here. Hopefully that’s true.
But what next? That is always the question, it seems. I hate that I continue to exist in that realm but I can’t help it! I’m a planner! All signs point to moving in with Dad next fall, saving some funds and going back to school. But I’m done thinking about it for now.
So, after I wrote this big long thing about how I wished I lived with friends and I’m so lonely, etc, I went out into the kitchen of the apartment to make a snack and actually interacted with the two roommates for 15 minutes, and now I feel a thousand times better.
There’s a lesson in this, but it’s probably just: I’m a goddamn idiot.
This weekend was too fun aka I think I gained 8 pounds, most likely all in alcohol. WHOOPS.
I am in love with Pickle and it’s going to suck dropping her off on Friday(as I’m typing this, she is draped over my laptop screen as if to say, “GET OF THEE INTERWEBZ”).
I’m dropping her off on Friday because I’m going to New York for the weekend!!
I won’t have internet or cable (as soon as they shut it off…any second now!) until I move into my new apartment but I welcome this nice break from news I don’t want to hear about and television that I don’t need to be watching. Save for Mad Men…which I will have to figure out…
Yesterday I saw David Sedaris do a reading of his latest book (which you ought read) and from his diary. It was hysterical and wonderful and just all around lovely.
I was mostly inspired by his diary; handwritten and only about 60 days missed since 1977.
I’ve always been able to write while traveling or away at camp when emotions are heightened and new experiences are at my fingertips but I have not successfully kept a diary for an extended period of time, umm, EVER.
So, as a challenge to myself I will be writing a diary entry everyday for the next 365 days. Handwritten and hiding in my nightstand. I think I can do it and I WANT to do it so I’m going to do it.